Dear Mr. Blog,

Whew! Let me tell you about the amazing day I had! I rolled out of bed a little late- around 2:45 a.m., and found myself hurrying to get started with the day. After eating a complete meal of organic berries, tree bark, and green tea, I did some early morning reading, and brushed up on Harold Raymonson's 30-volume essay on the migratory patterns of the Freternectis Beetle during the latter period of the middle kingdom.

It was SO fascinating, and such a quick read!

Intellectually fueled and ready for the day, I decided I'd test out the jet pack I built last night while bored, and rocketed myself over to the dig site.

On the way, I stopped to save two kittens stuck in a tree.

Before lunch, I dug up eight mummies and three new pyramids. After lunch, I stumbled upon an amazing discovery!

It turns out that the popular theory of Oompa Loompas building the pyramids is actually true. We found a buried kingdom of them- all alive, and dancing!

They were very glad to see me. So glad, in fact, that they've crowned me their queen.

Anyway, once the celebration was complete, I returned to Luxor and smoked Hukah for seven hours straight. I don't exactly remember how I got home after that...

Hmm...

Upon returning to the complex, I went on my normal workout, running three laps around the country of Egypt, and swam the Nile. All of it. And let me tell you, that river is polluted! Whew!

Good night!

Frenchie Wilcox